expressions for high stress days
compiled by David J. Raymond
|1. It sounds like English, but I cant
understand a word youre saying.
2. I see youve set aside this special time to humiliate
yourself in public.
3. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
4. Im already visualizing duct tape over your mouth.
5. Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?
6. Not the brightest crayon in the box are we?
7. Dont bother me. Im living happily ever after.
8. Please be quiet. I cant hear the voices in my head.
9. The fact that no one understands you does not mean youre
10. This is no office. Its Hell with fluorescent lighting.
11. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
12. Somewhere, there is a village missing an idiot.
13. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
14. Therapy is expensive; popping bubble wrap is cheap. You decide.
15. You! Off my planet!
16. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of
17. I like cats too. Lets exchange recipes.
18. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
19. Your prospects? Does the word chum ring a bell?
20. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
21. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
22. And your crybaby, whinny opinion would be?
23. Im not crazy. Ive just been in a very bad mood
for 30 years.
24. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
25. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
26. Shhh...Im trying to imagine you with a personality.
27. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
28. Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havent
fallen asleep yet.
29. I cant remember: Am I the good twin?
30. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
31. Can I trade this job for whats behind door No. 2?
32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
33. Dont argue with me. Just smile and say Yes, Mistress.
34. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
35. Earth is full. Go home.
36. Is it time for your medication or mine?
37. Aw...did I step on your poor little ego?
38. I plead contemporary insanity.
39. How do I set a laser printer on stun?
40. When I want your opinion, Ill give it to you.