Sections

Top Stories
Front Page
News
Student Life
Science & Environment
Arts & Entertainment

Etcetera
Opinion
People & Places
Lifestyles
Sports 

Information

ASHPU
HPU Clubs

Sports

Baseball
Basketball
Cross Country
Softball
Tennis
Volleyball

Hot Links
HPU
Kalamalama Home

A skewed view of U.S. newspapers

by Forwarded by Al Lynde, adjunct instructor

   

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who also think they ought to run the country but donít really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their smog statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldnít mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didnít have to leave L.A. to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who arenít too sure whoís running the country, and donít really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who donít care whoís running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who arenít sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist atheists who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

 

 

 

 

 

©2002, Kalamalama, the HPU Student Newspaper. All rights reserved.
 
This site designed Rick Bernico & maintained by Johan Astrom