Hearts and Minds: How our brains are hardwired for relationships
is full of tips and advice about how to find the right mate,
but be careful not to take this book too seriously. You might
find yourself taking the author’s advice too far, possibly as
far as Japan, where the author says short men should go if they
want to attract women.
Thomas David Kehoe is the author of this dating and relationship
guide, a book that’s sure to collect dust on the bedroom nightstand
(if it makes it that far from the bookstore shelf).
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The title of the book is misleading. One would think that by
reading this book one could understand more about the opposite
sex. What this book does, instead, is talk entirely too much
about the science of the brain, hormones, evolution, and ancestry.
Then, once it gets into actual dating tips, it relies on stereotypes
such as “women are attracted to men who like children and who
have money.” It goes so far as to suggest not only that short
men should move to Japan, but also that women should enroll
in “hands-on” classes at the American Red Cross to meet men.
Anyone impatient with useless facts should skip the first 61
pages of this book, and anyone who disagrees with typical male/female
stereotypes should avoid reading it altogether.
Stereotypes aren’t the only problem. About halfway through
the book, when the author does give some “interesting” tips
on dating, he encourages men to show off their entertainment
skills on a date. For example, he says men should play peek-a-boo
while they try to get a woman’s attention (see the chapter on
flirting—or not). Women should invite men to join them in volunteering
at nonprofit organizations.
Speaking of organization, this book has very little. It was
sometimes hard to see the relevance in what the author was trying
to say, and he repeated himself, not once, but several times.
Nonetheless, for those interested in Greek mythology and astrology,
the last 50 pages might be interesting. Here, the author categorizes
people according to Greek gods and goddesses, suggesting that
one would or would not be a good match for another based on
the god or goddess one most resembles. Once the reader discovers
which goddess she is, she can read about her life’s purpose,
her emotions, her sexual preferences, her best mate, and, most
importantly, her favorite kind of shoes.
If one chooses to take this book on, they can be prepared to
learn all about where to go to meet a mate, what to wear, what
to say, when to touch, and more, all from a man with a bachelor’s
degree in philosophy from Reed College (where is that?) and
an MBA from the University of Chicago.
You get less than you paid for at $19.95.