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Hearts and Minds a disappointment

review by Cindy Wendt, Science and Environment editor


Hearts and Minds: How our brains are hardwired for relationships is full of tips and advice about how to find the right mate, but be careful not to take this book too seriously. You might find yourself taking the author’s advice too far, possibly as far as Japan, where the author says short men should go if they want to attract women.

Thomas David Kehoe is the author of this dating and relationship guide, a book that’s sure to collect dust on the bedroom nightstand (if it makes it that far from the bookstore shelf).

Click on image for larger view

The title of the book is misleading. One would think that by reading this book one could understand more about the opposite sex. What this book does, instead, is talk entirely too much about the science of the brain, hormones, evolution, and ancestry. Then, once it gets into actual dating tips, it relies on stereotypes such as “women are attracted to men who like children and who have money.” It goes so far as to suggest not only that short men should move to Japan, but also that women should enroll in “hands-on” classes at the American Red Cross to meet men.


Anyone impatient with useless facts should skip the first 61 pages of this book, and anyone who disagrees with typical male/female stereotypes should avoid reading it altogether.

Stereotypes aren’t the only problem. About halfway through the book, when the author does give some “interesting” tips on dating, he encourages men to show off their entertainment skills on a date. For example, he says men should play peek-a-boo while they try to get a woman’s attention (see the chapter on flirting—or not). Women should invite men to join them in volunteering at nonprofit organizations.

Speaking of organization, this book has very little. It was sometimes hard to see the relevance in what the author was trying to say, and he repeated himself, not once, but several times.

Nonetheless, for those interested in Greek mythology and astrology, the last 50 pages might be interesting. Here, the author categorizes people according to Greek gods and goddesses, suggesting that one would or would not be a good match for another based on the god or goddess one most resembles. Once the reader discovers which goddess she is, she can read about her life’s purpose, her emotions, her sexual preferences, her best mate, and, most importantly, her favorite kind of shoes.

If one chooses to take this book on, they can be prepared to learn all about where to go to meet a mate, what to wear, what to say, when to touch, and more, all from a man with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from Reed College (where is that?) and an MBA from the University of Chicago.

You get less than you paid for at $19.95.




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