If the real world demands the terminology of sports, why has
it become taboo to talk sports using the conventional lingo
The terminology is very much the same, so what is one to do
when describing sports actions that require war terminology?
Here’s a list of these war terms and “acceptable” possible alternatives:
Since Coalition Forces had to enter Iraq’s “Red-Zone,” football
teams now enter the almost there zone.
That team can no longer get to the almost there zone with a
bomb; no, they must make a really long pass.
In baseball, a strike would only remind us of explosions and
a lot of sand, so it will now be called a successful pitch.
No longer can baseballs get hit like bullets; a really hard
and straight hit is the term now.
Teams can no longer battle out there; there’s no battling allowed
in sports. They’re playing really hard out there.
No fighting until the end, either; it’s playing hard until
the end now.
Definitely forget about games being described as “a war.”
Oh—and Sea Warrior fans, better report to the think tank that
a new name is in order.
Where does it end? What if it just sounds similar. Can hoopsters
no longer juke because it sounds like nuke? They’ll just have
to move from side to side and past their opponents.
What about outside of war? Can sports fans no longer get their
fix, because it reminds us of drug problems?
The point should be clear—this is silly. To even think of complaining
about this, during war time no less, is ridiculous.
Fortunately, the movement against improperly used war terms
in sports does not have a poster person like Martha Burke, the
head of the National Women’s Organization, whose 15 minutes
of fame practically ended April 15 when 40 people attended her
protest against Augusta National Golf Clubs all-male membership.
There is a lesson to be learned from Miss Burke—other than
protests held to get the attention of Masters fans should not
occur during the Masters. The majority of Americans don’t have
time for silliness of this kind, especially during war.
Things are happening out there. People are dying. Let’s focus
When we tune into sports—it’s an escape. Sports are fun. Controversies
and sports do not go together, unless its over a last second
shot, two guys holding a home run record-breaking ball at the
same time, or anything that could jeopardize the integrity of
And no one wants to hear those alternatives listed above—not
even their creator.