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Dating Advice with Las Tres Chicas

It’s another packed night at Indigo’s. In a quiet corner of the Opium Den, your favorite tres chicas sit sipping post-happy hour cocktails. They are more quiet than usual as they ponder for their column the questions that baffle the world of relationships. Marie Claire is playing with her hair, Barbarella has her pen to her lips, and Emmanuella is chain smoking like a locomotive.

“ I think that women don’t know what they want,” says Marie Claire.

“ I don’t think anyone knows what they want,” interjects Emmanuella, sipping her drink, the light catching the sparkle of her ring finger.

“ Yes, I was just going to say that I don’t think guys know what they want, either,” Marie Claire adds.

Emmanuella replies, finishing her drink in a gulp and lighting another cigarette. “First they want this, then they want that. Men are hopeless, I am tired of it—all of it. I think I am going to enter a convent.”

“ You are not,” Barbarella says laughing.

“ I don’t understand men, and I don’t understand myself. I don’t want to be committed. I just somehow managed to get myself engaged,” says Emmanuella.

“ Well, this fits into our present inquiry,” Barbarella notes looking at the notes before her. In her careful scrawl is the question, Why do girls say they don’t want to be in a relationship when, in truth, they do?

Marie Claire shakes her head. “What? That doesn’t fit.”

“ Yes, it does,” insists Barbarella. “Why is it women say one thing when they mean another?

Saying ‘no, I don’t want a relationship’ and secretly wanting one is a lot like saying ‘yes, I will marry you’ and secretly not wanting to.”

“ Secretly, absolutely, positively dreading the thought,” adds Emmanuella from her corner of smoke.

“ Does he know?” asks Barbarella.

“ No.”

“ Have you considered telling him?”

“ Tell him what? ‘Hey, honey! You know that night you got on your knees and I said I would spend of the rest of my life with you? Yeah, I didn’t mean it. Sorry.’ Uh-huh, that will work.” Emmanuella says before turning to the bartender to order another drink.

“ You’re right. You’d better wait until the minister asks if anyone objects to your union and then dash out of the cathedral.”

“ Not funny, Barbarella.”

“ The key word in here, and in any relationship, actually, is communication,” says Marie Claire.
“ She’s an expert suddenly!” exclaims Emmanuella.

“ Maybe because she’s got a boyfriend suddenly,” Barbarella replies, turning to look at Marie Claire.

“ He’s not my boyfriend, you guys!”

“ What is he, then?”

“ I don’t know.”

“ You haven’t talked about it?” Barbarella asks.

“ Not really.”

“ So much for communication.” Emmanuella says lighting another cigarette.

“ Communication is important,” says Barbarella. “We are students, not psychics. The best way to get what you want from a partner is to let them know your desires and expectations from the offset. That way there can be no misunderstandings.”

“ Like buying a car,” adds Emmanuella. “You have to check it out, kick its tires, ask all kinds of questions, think about whether it suits your lifestyle, your needs. You don’t just pick a car out of a lot and buy it.”

“ Even if the car comes with a three-carat diamond?” asks Marie Claire laughing.

“ Cease and desist!” exclaims Emmanuella as the three fall into a fit of giggles.


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