But that wouldn’t be in the spirit of
aloha, now would it? Aloha is one of the biggest differences
between the mainland and Hawai‘i. I can walk up to the
most grizzly looking guy on the street—the one who hasn’t
shaved in a week, who’s wife just left him and on the
way out ran over his dog—and start a conversation. A
simple “Hey, my name’s Chris,” and boom,
you’ve got an instant conversation. Before you know it
he’s giving you pointers on where to go for cheap groceries,
and that information is like gold here.
Food is crazy expensive in Honolulu. Remember Denny’s Grand
Slam for $2.99 meal? Yeah, it’s SEVEN DOLLARS here. No
joke. Want a half rack of ribs? Better bring your Visa. I’m
afraid to go out on a date here. When I get the bill I’m
going take the girl by the hands, look deep in her eyes and ask, “Do
you have cash or credit?”
Has anyone else noticed that there’s about five girls to
every guy here? I’m having trouble remembering all of their
names. It’s got to the point that I have to write their
name on my arm along with a small portrait to keep them straight.
I see a person of the female variety that I recognize, I have
to pretend I’m trying to lick my elbow just to find her
name. I’m not complaining, but until I learn to get my
shoulder back into the socket on my own, it’s going to
Especially since all of the island’s extra curricular aquatic
activities require both my hands. I’m gonna attempt surfing
this week, so if you want a good laugh, sit on Waikiki beach
and watch the pasty white guy attempt to “toe the nose.” Should
be good clean fun for the whole family. Bring popcorn.
Speaking of popcorn, has anyone gone to the movies here? It’s
cheaper to watch a movie here than it is in Podunk, Anywhere.
I don’t understand that. Milk is 8 bucks a cup here, but
I can go see Angelina Jolie and Jude Law kick some alien butt
for $5.50 before 6pm. Or better yet, wait a month and see it
free in Waikiki at Sunset on the Beach.
For those of you wondering where I’m from that movie tickets
should be so expensive, I attended college for three years in
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, which is great if you like beer, cheese,
and cold weather. I’ve lived for some time now in Ohio,
but I try not to spread that around. You ever tell people something
about yourself, and suddenly they act like you’ve got a
social disease? Saying you’re from Ohio seems to have that
effect on people. I don’t know why, it’s not a bad
state. Sure, there’s nothing to do there but watch corn
grow (literally), but it’s not like we’re Indiana
When I told my boss I was transferring to Hawai‘i Pacific
University, his initial response was “Hey man, that’s
cool.” Later on, he mentioned that I might consider staying
at the Milwaukee School of Engineering, because it was ranked
top 14 in the nation for engineering. I replied – “Did
you know Hawai‘i has the first, seventh, and ninth best
beaches in the world?”
So now you know my reason for coming here. Well, one of them.
The other reasons are ambulatory and can be seen frequently
at the beach.