Editor’s note: The following
anecdotes from the logs of an institutional IT support team
ought to make everyone feel better about their computer skills!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, I can’t get my disk out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good.
Customer: No, wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet. It’s still
on my desk. Sorry.
Tech support: Click on the “my computer” icon on the left of the
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello. I can’t print.
Tech support: OK. Click on “start” for me and...
Customer: Listen pal, don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not
Customer: Hi, this is Martha. I can’t print. Every time I try, it says “Can't
find printer.” I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front
of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.
Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah! Thank you.
Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Is it plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Carry your keyboard back 10 paces.
Customer: OK .
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah! That one does work.
Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple,
capital “V” as n Victor, the number “7.”
Customer: Is that seven in capital letters?
Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you using the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter “a” in the address, but how do
I get the circle around it?
Customer: I’m having a problem with my printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man
sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working